excitement and the grand plan

people keep asking me if i am excited to get married. my response is always the same:

"of course i'm excited. but not the jumpy-squealy kind of excited. the this-is-just-so-right excited."

what i mean by that is that it goes way deeper than the word "excited" can convey. because excitement fades. it leads up to something and then, after the "something" occurs, it's recedes... like the ebb and swell of the ocean. what i feel is entirely different than that. it's more constant. longer lasting. it's inside my stomach, almost a tangible sensation. when i think about giving my life to tim and him giving his life to me, i almost ache with the joy and wonder and awe of it.

and then i feel the sheer majesty of god's plan for his whole people. i realize that human love, marriage, parenting, friendship... these are all minute pieces of the grand plan: for the creator to show his greatness through his unending, unfailing, unchanging love for (relatively) insignificant and faithless people. he amazes me. because we are not insignificant to him -- even in all his greatness. we are of infinite worth to him because he chooses to make us so.

and all of these startling ideas and realizations are bound up with the "excitement" i feel about marrying tim. because i know that the great god is a part of it. or rather, that we are a part of him.